Just say thank you…

1 Dec

img_4346I think that starting this post out I should clarify that I don’t think I’m better than anyone else. As a matter of fact, some days I don’t feel like I’m much of anything.  This is normal. This…is life. It comes with highs and lows. And we have to get our feels of both. If we didn’t, life would be mundane. If it were all highs we would think our shit doesn’t stink and never know how to fight the good fight. If it were all lows, life would be full of tears and sadness.  We fight through the lows go get to the highs. And somewhere we all meet in the middle and deal together.

I’ve learned to appreciate both.  I came from rock bottom and at my heaviest I remember being there. And I’ve been at a high where no one’s shitty attitude could touch me.  We all mostly live in the middle.  What I’ve learned through all of it. Saying thank you for random kindness, the genuine kind, is hard stuff.

The other day I  tried to compliment a friend.  I meant it from my heart. And that person, totally blew off my compliment. It kind of pissed me off for a sec.  But then I realize I have the same problem. Damn it…you mean I’m not perfect? Can I at least be labeled as cute?

The other day I was transporting a patient from one hospital to another .  She was critical and our team worked like mad for hours to get her stable enough to transport.  Her mom begged and pleaded for us to fix her.  And she complimented us on how hard we worked over and over again. I couldn’t just say thank you. I found myself curling up not wanted to talk or acknowledge that she was in awe of the work we do. I couldn’t just say thank you.

I also have issues when people point out how far I’ve come. I know a ton of people who have come from farther…and done more amazing things. My journey isn’t over.  But instead of saying thank you, I look for reasons why I’m not further along.  I can tell you what I need to do better.

Why the hell do we all do this?  Why can’t we just say thank you? Why can’t we just feel the positive vibes? I wish I had the answer.

You look beautiful. Why thank you!

You rocked that run. Thank you!

You are an amazing human being… you’re damn right. Thank you.

We really need to stop beating ourselves up. Just stop it. You’re not perfect. And neither am I. We are broken…that’s how the light gets in. So breathe it in people. Feel the feels.  You’re doing your best. And that should be ok.

So just say thank you. Speak from your heart. Be kind. Be accepting. And when you can’t,  just be…it’s ok.

Thank you, to every person who has ever paid me a compliment that I have squashed, I’m a total dick. Thank you to each person who couldn’t give me their best because they didn’t have it in them…it showed me we can’t be perfect all the time. It also helped me realize that expectation is the root of disappointment. Thank you for every disappointment, it has taught me strength.

So expect that I’m going to be more positive. And I pay you a compliment….don’t dick out! Just say thank you.

Until next time…

DP Babbles



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