Through the Crystal Ball…

15 Nov

Since last week, I keep getting asked “Well, what’s next?” And someone asked me to write about it.

Usually, post race for me is waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Most of my friends know that post race day 2 is the day I cry a lot.  There seems to be some let down for me and I get really down. I think I even got a text the morning after from one of my closest pals. “How are you feeling emotionally?” So I feel like every day waking up is just waiting for it to set in and the tears to come. But they haven’t. They snuck in for a second but I was told to cut that shit out. (I have amazing friends, they know how to manhandle me when I need it!).   That same person reminded me what amazing shit just went down, and for that I am grateful.  Since then, I’ve felt mostly peaceful.

The day after the race, someone (who I’m not even friends with) may have taken a cheap shot at me.   I say “may” because if it truly was, it makes me feel sorry for those people who attempt to tear down.  Who and what isn’t important. But pointing out “the true marathoner” and ” true inspiration”. Let me tell you about that. Do you know what a “True marathoner” is?  Someone who has the balls to try. Someone who never gives up and crosses both the start and finish no matter how.  Those who put in countless hours of training.  The 96 year old man who finished the marathon 11 hours later…yep. True Marathoner.  Francesca, 57 year old Italian chick saying she was too old, yep, true Marathoner.  Me, coming in in hour number 8…yep… and the pattern continues. My point here is that I mention it only because none of  the negative feelings from other people actually  matters, the only thing that really matters is how I feel about me.

This is what I realized after I crossed the finish line. It’s still sinking in a week later.  Anything I ever said I couldn’t do before, TOTAL BULLSHIT!!!!  I have been going way to easy on me an I have made one too many excuses as to why I can’t do things.  It’s all a bunch of total bullshit.  I have to say, after this…I am all out of excuses.

Running 26.2 miles gave me some insight. After all I had eight long hours to think about what’s next.  Let me tell you, it was the longest Come to Jesus meeting I’ve ever had with myself.

Everyone asks “What was your time?”   I can honestly tell you, I am horrified at my time.  The oldest “official” finisher actually finished before me.  Tell me that’s not bad ass.  I was embarrassed at first, and  I had moments of actually agreeing that I was not a “True Marathoner” (Don’t take pity on me yet, and don’t cuss out the peep who had shit to say about it…just wait and read.)  In a conversation today, I actually admitted to feeling this way. But in thinking about it, this first marathon was all about not giving up.  It was about the experience and how important it is to push through when I feel like there isn’t anything left.  I was able to think about the things that I want to accomplish, and that I can fight though pain (and that shit hurt!!!)  There are no more excuses, just planning and conquering.   I conquered this…it doesn’t matter how slow I was. I showed up.  Over 51,000 people showed up.  That makes a helluvalot of Marathoners.  Over 51,000 people finished.  That’s 51,000 deep of true inspiration.  To have witnessed that kind of strength is mind blowing. Ask my family and friends who were there…inspiration was palpable and around every corner.  It showed up as Elite runners, young first timers, older experienced types, and yep, even an Italian chick with junk in her trunk.

“One foot over the starting line and you’re already braver than everyone you know.” MR How true is this?

So if you notice, I referred to NYC as my first marathon, which one could only assume there would be more planned for the future.  You’re damn right there will be. Not because running that mileage is fun. Not because the training and the life interruption was easy.  Because now that I’ve done this.  I have more in me, I have to try and do it better next time.   Not for a bit though.  I’m not running out for a repeat next month.  Probably not even next year. I realize during all this soul searching that there are things that I want to work on.    Obviously my goals are health related.  But don’t worry, losing weight most likely won’t affect my backside too much. (I know some worry about the precious caboose, but I promise it will be on point! lol)  I have two half marathons on the books this season.  But I’m honing in on that diet and my half marathon speed. I don’t intend to be perfect, but I intend to be successful.  If I can train for a year to run for 26.2 miles, I can certainly knock the Doritos out of my mouth. Maybe even say no to dessert a couple of times.

So, in all of this waiting for the shoe to drop. For the “Big Cry”… I think I’ll be waiting for awhile.  There is nothing but peace here for me.   For I am a marathoner.  We are all in some kind of race. It may not be a race for miles, but it’s a race for something.  I want to tell you… yes you reading this.  You can.  I promise you can.  And when you can’t, call me, because I’m going to tell you it’s bull shit. I promise that you have this.  You can do ANYTHING.  So you don’t want to run a marathon.  I get it.  Don’t then.  Do you…do whatever you want that you think is impossible.  It’s not.  Because I thought it was, and it turns out that I was so very wrong.  When you test yourself, truly test yourself…and you want something bad enough.  I promise it’s yours when you’re ready. So throw out those excuses, take heaping doses of FUKITOL and YOUREDAMNRIGHTIWILL and bang it out.   And don’t care what everyone has to say about your journey.  It’s not about them. It’s about you. So don’t let it go. Consider me your cheerleader.  You know why?  I believe we should all be cheering for each other.  There is definitely enough sun for everyone.  When you’re in the dark, I’m over here waiting with a flashlight…cause I believe in both of us.

-No regrets…

Until Next Time..

DP Babbles

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4 Responses to “Through the Crystal Ball…”

  1. Kelli November 15, 2016 at 4:20 pm #

    Love this! Best post ever! And when you run out of batteries I will bring you some 😘😘😘

    Like

    • DP Babbles November 15, 2016 at 5:09 pm #

      I’m so blessed to have a friend like you!!! Love you!

      Like

  2. Holly A November 15, 2016 at 4:59 pm #

    You are so amazing! I’m not just blowing smoke here. I have had similar thoughts after finishing just half of a marathon … but you went for the whole enchilada! I feel I have so much to learn from you, especially the parts about giving up excuses and standing by how I feel about myself instead of what other people might feel about me. To me, that is the really best part about running — it’s a metaphor for life. Hugs and high fives to you!

    Like

    • DP Babbles November 15, 2016 at 5:10 pm #

      It really is a metaphor for life. You, my friend, have taught me more than you know. We all learn from each other. That’s what makes
      Life so great!!!!

      Like

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