Preconceived thoughts of my first 26.2

This week marks end of a thirteen day rest period that will start a journey to the biggest thing I’ve ever done besides having kids. Walking around and growing a living thing has got to be the biggest thing most chicks have done, but for this chick, running 26.2 miles around New York City is going to be my next biggest feat.  Here are my thoughts and preconceived notions about running a full marathon.

1. What the hell did I get myself into?  I don’t want to drive for 26.2 miles on a normal day let alone run or walk it.  Did I put enough thought into it? Does running seven half marathons slowly qualify me to even run 26.2 miles in what I believe to be the coolest race ever?
2. Seriously, what if I have to pee or what if 26.2 miles is the mileage that finally makes me shit myself. I’ve been so careful so far. But one slick move and holy shitballs!  That is probably one of the biggest fears of a runner. I mean, it’s even in the rules. You’re not allowed to shit on the streets of New York, you have to use the Port of Johns. (OK clearly the the rule book is a little more professional than this but…do accidents count?)  I know some runners squat wherever…I’m not that chick. I wear compression shit that I can’t just pull on and off.  I don’t want to punish anyone with the site of my bare sweaty ass.
3. I’m a slow runner. How many energy gels will it take me to get to the end…and where the fuck do I stuff it all. If you see a slow runner with extra unruly lumps in her pants and boobs… That’s me storing my energy.  I give you a free pass to laugh at me.  I don’t give free passes for anything very often, so take it.
4. What if I’m so slow I get lost…or worse… What if the course closes and I don’t get my medal?  (Runners like shiny necklaces!!!)  Do I hail a cab, do I venture into the subway? Do I just go to the nearest bar and give up?  (I’ll be at the bar!!!!) I’m not going to lie. The first thing I did when I was given the invitation is look up race results for the oldest age category and find the slowest race times.  How in God’s green earth can I run for 7 hours? Kids, don’t wait up…mommy is going to miss the post race party because she’s still trying to get there!

I think I’ve run (literally) through every fear in my head.  But this is what I do know.  I know that I’m going to be trained properly, I’m going to be nervous and want to shit my pants (please,dear Lord…help a sista out!). I’m going to laugh. I most definitely am going to cry. Above all else, I’m going to finish…. Because I didn’t go this far out of comfort zone to not succeed.  My boobs may be packed with gels, I may be the big assed chick who had to run the sidewalks and miss the after party, I may shit my pants. But, I also may not.  And I’m never going to know if I don’t try. I have all these preconceived ideas of what running a marathon is like, but I’m never going to know what it’s really like for me…until I get there. But these are just a few of my thoughts. Hopefully this made you giggle a little.

So, for now, I’m going to train with all of my heart and pray with every bit of my soul that I’m strong enough .  I’m going to think positive and last of all…avoid fiber like the plague.  I just can’t wait to prove myself wrong!

Peace…out until next time…

DP Babbles