Hello 2016…I see you around the corner!

28 Dec
Here's to you!

Here’s to you!

I’m not a fan of resolutions. They’re short  lived most of the time and they never seem to stick. It’s kind of like starting a diet on a Monday. Some can do it and be successful and others can’t. I can tell you what I am a fan of…new beginnings and figuring it out. I do reflect on the past before the new year starts. I also, like most everyone else, have goal I want to accomplish.  So here goes the inner workings of my soul. Ha! I’m just kidding. Some babbling about what was and what I hope to be.

My reflection of this year is one of mixed feelings. I had some amazing experiences, the life altering kind. Some extremely fun, some really scary and some leaving me confused and unsure of myself. This is kind of the opposite of what I was going for. I maintained my confidence pretty well but I was going for stronger than before so while this year was a success for so many reasons. It was hit or miss for so many others. I have questioned so much of what goes on inside of me. So here goes what I’m grabbing on to in the new year.

These aren’t resolutions. I’m not waking up to 2016 on a diet. I’m sure as shit not giving up drinking or cheat meals. I’m not giving up friends or fun. I have no intention of squatting a bazillion pounds (I do vow to do lots of them, though, just not a bazillion).  But this is what I do want. Hopefully you all can relate to some of these. If so, give me a shout.

I want more confidence. The kind that makes me not worry about what others think of me. The kind that shines without me having to say anything. The kind you see in a smile, and in someone’s eyes.  The kind that’s going to help sort out the confused insides, and the kind that helps me do it with plenty of grace even though there isn’t much gracefulness in me.

I’m grabbing on to strength. Both kinds of strength. The kind that builds muscle and melts fat. The kind that makes taking in the groceries easier, the kind that will allow me to be a fit bad ass (with limited amounts of surgical correction…you know you’re not above a small correction or two, lighten up!) The kind that makes running faster and easier, the kind that makes my lungs stronger and my ass amazing.  I also want the strength that is going to push me on mornings when I don’t feel like running or working out. The kind that drags me to Body Rock Boot Camp to get amazingly tortured and physically challenged by the first person who ever helped me believe I could accomplish my goals and believe in me. (Thank you, Katie Luebbers. I am forever grateful to you!)  That same strength that I wish to get me through my remaining 2 half marathons of the season.  One that will talk me through no one at the finish line with only the voice of me and my coach in my head telling me to hit it harder in those last few moments.

I want to accomplish running a full marathon and I want to not run like I have a stick up my ass when I do. I don’t want to worry about time. I want to worry about the experience about loving what makes me…well…me and that after 26.2 miles of glorious torture, I will be forever changed.  I want to feel supported and loved through every mile. I want to see my fabulous friend, Fabien at the finish line with his “I❤️DP” shirt on. (He makes me giggle, too!)  I want to see my family, most especially my daughter…because she needs to know she’s badass and can do anything, too!

I’d like courage to change the things I never thought I could. And to accept the things I can’t. The courage to love the unlovable (and to love me when I’m unlovable) To smile even when I don’t feel like it. The courage to give a solid go screw yourself to people and things that don’t add positives to my life.  I want the courage to be done with the people who can’t forgive, and who place blame and guilt in my life. Life should be filled with more acceptance and caring. I want the courage to be ok being me. Quite frankly, I feel like I’ve accepted lots of douche canoes for who they are and seriously found a good thing in every single one…even when others can’t! Why can’t we sprinkle more of that around?

I want a little extra patience. To deal with the ups and downs of life. Change is really hard for most people and I am no exception to the rule. I want the patience to give extra kisses and not fly off the handle when the kids aren’t cooperating. Patience to be ok with not knowing life’s outcomes. And the  patience to wait until one side of the grilled cheese browns before flipping it. (Am I the only one with that issue?)

You know what I don’t want to change? (Too bad if you thought you were getting out of reading this answer. )

I don’t want to change my silly sarcasm. I don’t want to change it because I want to make you laugh. I want to throw spirit fingers and do silly dances just to make my coworkers and patients smile.  Making you laugh and smile makes me happy. There is nothing better than seeing someone smile. I kind of dig the dimply face shining smiles. I don’t want to change being able to laugh with my friends and family and giggle at nothing and everything simultaneously.

I don’t want to change my randomness. I like sending random messages and there is nothing that makes me feel more at peace than random acts of kindness. I like feeling like maybe me thinking of someone or wanting to do something nice makes them smile. It’s nice to be thought of. People who know me know I am that random person who sends out those messages.

I’m not changing that I care. I just do. It’s a gift and a flaw all at the same time. I want to listen to your problems, and even if I can’t find the answer, just be present and ready to help. I just need to be more choosy about my give a damns.  Like, if I keep giving a shit about you…and you don’t give a shit about me and my feelings. I can still care, but it can’t be something I blame myself for.  I am not the center of the universe, and neither are you, my friend.  But friend, coworker or family member… I still give a damn.  I can’t stand myself for it sometimes, but I care and I’m never going to be sorry for it.

What does this mean?  Change is good. Having goals and caring about people and showing how you feel is awesome sauce. Giving a damn is ok…and randomly showing it is a double win. But don’t get stepped on, don’t let people make you feel guilty about who you are.

You, my friend, have a whole year to make a difference. Not a difference on the scale either…but a difference on the inside. Self acceptance is the key to making dreams happen. But here’s the real deal…Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither were you. So remember that slow and steady wins the race. Don’t compare your unpublished life with those on Facebook, Instagram and Twatter (yeah, I know it’s not Twatter…I don’t give a shit…I like calling it that!)  It’s all a bunch of bulllshit. That chick with the amazing round ass with no cellulite (the ass you

can bounce a quarter off of) may have just photoshopped it a bit, and she’s probably closet eating Phish food ice cream as you read this.  So, don’t try and live up to that hype. Live up to your own. You are a nothing short of amazing..you just have to look inside and see the goodness in there. I see it….and  if you can’t find it, come find me. Imma help show you how f❤️cking amazing you really are. Truly.

Happy New Year from DP Babbles!

 

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8 Responses to “Hello 2016…I see you around the corner!”

  1. Rie December 28, 2015 at 1:36 pm #

    Love you ALWAYS!!! You rock!!!!

    Like

  2. Marianne December 28, 2015 at 8:03 pm #

    I feel all warm and happy inside reading this! I share so many of your feelings and views and insecurities. I hope you figure it all out in 2016, and I’ll be working on my stuff too! Be well and have a Happy New Year!

    Like

    • DP Babbles December 28, 2015 at 10:44 pm #

      I’m happy that you just get me, Marianne! You will be seeing me at least once a week in the New Year!

      Like

  3. Aunt Mimi December 29, 2015 at 3:58 am #

    Amazing… At 54 I still have many of the same issues. Maybe I didn’t start working on them early enough! So sad to care what others think … We can’t make everyone happy… But we try and we’re the ones with stress and anxiety! Is it part of our being?? Is it a kinder heart that cares??
    I’m proud of you my dear. Keep writing… You’re a very enjoyable read!! And a lovely person. God bless you… And Happy New Year!!!

    Like

  4. Sheila December 29, 2015 at 4:36 am #

    This post is exactly the reason why I am crazy about you my friend. You are so FREEKIN’ on point and honest. You have done some amazing things – keeping it real the whole time. You are the perfect role model for your daughter, and mine and ME. Here’s to 2016! Love u!

    Like

    • DP Babbles December 29, 2015 at 9:09 am #

      I think I’m always going to care what people think of me. But I’m
      Trying not to. I agree that we should all have a kinder heart. Love makes the world go round! Love you Aunt Mimi!

      Like

    • DP Babbles December 29, 2015 at 9:10 am #

      I’m not so perfect. But Sheila, I’m glad you relate to what I have to say. I think YOU are pretty amazinG!

      Like

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