Toddler tantrums and such…

29 Nov

I would like to start off by saying I love my children.  I even love people…most of them anyways. And I don’t like to judge people when it comes to parenting. We all have awful parenting moments. (Yes, even you, perfect parent!) I hope my kids will mostly love me later on and not have to spend years on a therapist’s couch whining over what an asshole I am. What I mostly don’t want, is to raise an asshole for a kid. I don’t want my kid to be labeled the dickhead or bitch of the group. I want them to be strong, kind and helpful. At the same time I don’t want them taking guff from anyone. My girl is 9 and she is shy and amazingly beautiful but she is sassy as hell if she’s comfortable with you. But like most first born children, she is a pleaser. My 5 year old little dude is going to be in sales. He is witty, loving and persistent in all endeavors. This includes misbehaving and tantrums. When we are out and about these are the people who don’t help out in my goal to create a future amazing adult.

The lady at the Target who can’t stand seeing my little man crying over not being about to buy the latest 3.0 character. He’s persistent and we usually have to get through the line. He doesn’t get spoiled. He also doesn’t get rewarded for awful behavior. So when you are giving out candy and you look at him and tell him you’ll give him candy, and my I put my bitch face on and tell you no he can’t have candy, please don’t be insulted. Also, please don’t overlook a parent to address a kid when it comes to your hard caramel candy. Firstly, it’s a hard candy for crying out loud and secondly, you can’t just give a kid candy without asking parents. I’m sorry it’s inconvenient to hear him cry…but I don’t really give a rat’s ass. It bothers me more more than it does you because I have to endure it through the line and into the car. I also have to second guess myself the whole way secretly wondering what I’m doing wrong that makes him so persistent every day.  I didn’t mean to give you that “shove the candy up your ass” look, but really…I kinda did.

The lady at Publix who huffs and puffs over any kid having a tantrum in  their store. I just assume put my “asshole” crown on and wave through the store like it’s a shit show parade. I’m more embarrassed than you are annoyed. But I need milk and most likely wine now.  So just let me get through the line and think about getting your tubes tied. No ones kids are perfect. (But if you do have a perfect kid, hit me up because I want to see what that looks like!) My kids are a reflection of my imperfection. Ask my mom, I’m the reason why there were no more.

And lastly, Andrew, the clerk at CVS who helped me and my son last night. J wanted a big wheel truck toy and I said no. So he whined and cried through the empty store. Andrew must have had his sassy pants on and certainly didn’t want to deal with the whining. (Did he think I did?) So what does he do at check out? Hands me my item, blows up an empty CVS bag, ties it up and silently hands it to J. So my son walks out with an empty bag full of gross hot air. I mutter what an asshole he was under my breath.  And suddenly, my son goes into defense mode because he heard how annoyed I was.  “Mommy, he’s not an asshole. I’m just mad because I didn’t want an empty bag.” I lost mother of the year and felt kind of proud all at once. For a moment in all of the irritation of the tantrum, I see the light. He saw  good in someone. He was mad about the empty bag…but he saw something good in someone who was ultimately pissy about being inconvenienced.

So, I realized (minus the bad word), that he is a mix of me. I’m a pain in the ass, persistent and full of attitude and sass (and even a bit whiney sometimes). But I like to look for the good in people. I even find good in people that most people don’t like. Maybe it’s a flaw but I kind of like finding treasures in people. Now I realize I can handle the embarrassing tantrums, because maybe my kid won’t be a jerk after all. Maybe…

So, let’s just all agree that we are all trying to do our best. And maybe try not to beat the other parents up. We all have lots of parenting challenges. So just celebrate each other and stop being a dick about my kid having a tantrum. I’m doing my best not to raise a bully or a total jerk for an adult.

I have to go now…my kids are beating the shit out of each other! 😳

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