Seriously God…really?

25 Apr

To continue my thoughts on The Big Man’s sense of humor…

Tonight, I put my kids down to bed and as I walked out of my daughter’s room, I was thinking how awesome it was that I only had one load of laundry to put away and then I could dedicate my night to my budget and a glass of wine. (Doesn’t everyone do the budget while imbibing?)  All of a sudden I stop and take a deep breath.  Since when did my house smell like the Jolly Green Giant dropped a total shit bomb on the house.  So walking around frantically looking around for the culprit with nothing to show for it…until I walked in my room. There waiting for me are two fresh steaming fresh piles of explosive doggy diarrhea just screaming to be cleaned up.  I have two dogs and one has a sensitive stomach. In the past she has been really good about having these issues on the tile, but seriously… the carpet? Ugh!

So as I’m cleaning up this mess,  I’m thinking that God really must have a sense of humor. I mean, he’s probably watching me scrub the shit out of my rug while gagging and totally loving this.  (I’m thinking he’s into the good tequila tonight!)

My house smells horrible.   I sprayed my room with air deodorizer too!  You know those commercials where they have a filthy dingy room and then they spray the shit out of it so when the blindfolded person comes in they go “Mmmm. It smells like I’m in a spring meadow.” And then as they get up with a stale piece of old cheese pizza sticking to their ass, they are like “Wow, this is amazing!!”  Well, I tried that.  My room now smells like dog shit and Hawaiiian Aloha mixed together which is more putrid than just dog shit.

And then I think that it could be worse.  When my husband and I first got married, Bailey (our Wheaten terrier) totally got a case of explosive shit all over my husband’s shoulder and face when he was sleeping. He didn’t think it was funny, but nine years later I still laugh so hard I’m crying.  I mean I mostly felt bad, but that explosive fart sound and then the shit shower…hilarious.  (I’m just dying over here!! LOL) And it’s not like it’s never happened to me. It was just at work, and it was a kid instead of a canine. That was funny to me too.  Let’s face it. Doo doo is funny even if my husband doesn’t think so.

In conclusion, dog shit on carpet sucks.  Having your bedroom smell like Hawaiian flowery dog shit sucks too.  But I’m laughing. God is laughing.  The dog is getting rice for dinner. And I am getting a drink stronger than wine.  Hello tequila!  🙂

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4 Responses to “Seriously God…really?”

  1. Scooter McGavin April 25, 2013 at 3:02 am #

    Loved the part about Pete getting his face and shoulder shat on while he slept.

    Like

    • DP Babbles April 25, 2013 at 4:18 am #

      I wonder if I am sleeping on the couch tonight! lol

      Like

  2. Meatman April 25, 2013 at 2:19 pm #

    Did you wake him up right away after he got shit on, or did you laugh at him and take pictures first? I know how hard it is to wake him up, maybe we should have tried this in high school! lol

    Like

    • DP Babbles April 25, 2013 at 6:02 pm #

      He actually woke up all by himself for that one! 😉 He’s certainly a heavy sleeper!

      Like

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