Festival Fun

28 Feb

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Volunteering at a Church festival is the best way to see people at their finest. Festivals are always fun times. Rides, food, people….people!!! Lets skip right to the people watching. Firstly I must say that as the resident amateur photographer I get the best view of people, at their finest and worst. Let me describe the weather  for you. Constant rain on day one followed by a cold front. A cold front for Floridians means anything under 70 degrees. So anything under 70 degrees means the Uggs come out along with any other kind of boot you can imagine (yes, right down to boots with the fur). So day one of constant rain didn’t stop anyone. Hello wet t-shirt contest!!! Holy Geez Kids put on some clothes!!! And as the lights go down and the adults come in…it doesn’t get much better.

Day two and three equals chilly days. Like 50-60 degree weather, with a breeze. I have never seen so many mottled legs in my life. I’m a nurse, so I’ve seen some mottled legs! And seriously people, I just don’t get the pointy “Come F*ck Me Pumps” in the muddy ground. You would have had to be in Timbuktu the day before to not know that it rained all day. You don’t look cute with that mask of makeup and your skinny 6 inch heel burrowed into the mud! As the sun set and the crowds gathered, the colder it got (like colder…in the Floridian’s mind), the drunker people got the more drunk people kept tapping and drooling on my shoulder (in their “Come F*ck me Boots) and asking me to take their picture. They didn’t even know what I was doing with them, they just wanted me to capture their drool and runny eyeliner. And then there is that teenage couple that’s huddled in the corner and the chick is in her shorts and flip-flops while the guy is profusely rubbing her legs to warm her up. Total waste of energy because I’m sure he’d rather have his tongue down your throat then trying to warm you up. (Damn…should have worn some damn pants and a jacket!!)
By day three the chicks in heels were out in full force. I’m not particularly poking fun. I have an old (but young in age 🙂 ) friend who wore those wedge kind of heels. Not only did she wear them like a boss all day. But she toted two small kids around and never flinched. That, my friends, is amazing and when I grow up I want her body and staying power! It’s those really skinny 6 inch heels that bug the bejesus out of me. Those baby’s just sink into the ground. Which means a waste of a perfectly good pair of Come f*ck me pumps!

The other part of Festival fun for me are the people who absolutely don’t like their pictures taken. The aversion to my photography shirt is so bad that some even drop to the floor to avoid my lens. It’s part of my unpaid duty to take pictures of people having fun, people not having fun, people cooking over a shitload of smelly onions on a grill and yes, even the lovely lady on a first date with the dickwad (Dear spell check, How the hell do you spell dickwad?) staring at other chicks. I like doing it, until I hear the griping of totally hot people who don’t really think they are! Soooo when they drop to the ground I capture the praying people, when they pretend they don’t see me, they look like crack whores , and when they put their hand up I wind up feeling like the paparazzi! But hey, you look how you want to look because it’s my duty!!! 🙂

What does any of this mean? One: Wearing Come fuck me pumps in the rain and mud is never a great idea!. Two: It’s not sexy to wear nothing when its cold. Three: Drunk people, you don’t REALLY want those drunk photos wandering around and you don’t know where they are going…do you? Four: Everyone is beautiful in different ways, be damn proud of it… and for Sally’s sake please just smile!!!!

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